So I’m finally getting around to starting my blog as I’d like you to get to know me better, who I am, what I do, how I think and feel about the world of kink, my experiences and most importantly, the experiences of those that serve me and whom I adore. I feel the first blog should come from my lovely Sissy Maid Amy who has served me very well for quite some time now. I now offer you the chance to get an insight into what it would be like to come session with me… please take the time to read and enjoy.
Where to begin? At the beginning might be a good idea...
December 2019, Sissy Maid Amy.
I’ve been a cross dresser for as long as I can remember, and have always had a penchant for “strong” women. Women with character, women with a certain aura about them. Approaching my 50th Birthday, I decided it was time to bite the bullet and do something about my lifelong interest; time to turn fantasy into fact. At this point, I have to admit that I then dithered and wavered for almost 2 months until I decided that enough was enough, and that I had to go through with this. If you are reading this, and have never been to visit a Domina, don’t worry if you are dithering too. It’s natural. My subsequent research led me to Mistress Ava, and I summoned up the nerve to send her a text and waited for a response. I was nervous, I’ll have to admit – had I been respectful enough in my first ever message to her? Had I made a suitable impression? Had I messed up? It would seem that Mistress was not put off by my approach as she responded positively, and I sent her the required deposit, in the required manner. I cannot stress enough, how important that part is. If Mistress has never met you before, it is only fair that you show your sincerity. She spends a lot of time and effort before each session making sure everything is just right and that you will achieve what you are looking for. No-shows don’t just waste her time, but they waste her effort and cost her valuable income. Anyone who is self employed will appreciate and understand that.
On to the first session. Scaredy cat here almost didn’t make it to her door. I was so nervous I could hardly walk in a straight line! But I did. And I am so glad I did. The door was opened, and a beautifully soft lilting Scottish voice invited me in. To say I was surprised and delighted when I saw Mistress for the first time is the understatement of the year. She is petite and slender, but don’t be deceived by that. She has a physical strength that matches her psychological power – when Mistress wields her cane or flogger you know about it. She is also exceptionally beautiful, warm, funny, and caring. DO NOT be embarrassed to tell her your deepest desires – if you don’t tell her, she won’t be able to do anything about them – Mistress may be empathetic, but she’s not a mind reader. She is very open minded. She does not judge you, and she respects your boundaries. Mistress will push you though during your journey into submission with her to expand those boundaries.
As a newcomer to the scene, I had no idea what I liked or disliked so we decided that we would start gently and also see how we got on with each other. If it works, you form a bond with each other that is like no other. I haltingly told her that I like to cross dress, and that I had always fantasised about being dressed by a strong woman and then being used like a woman. “Not a problem. We can do that.”I also mentioned that I’d quite like to try being fisted. “We’ll see how you get on with the pegging first.” Her skill set and her professionalism are such that Mistress would only go that far if She thought I could take it physically without injury, and with a sufficient warm up. An important point here – Mistress will hurt you if she wants to and you want to be hurt, but she will never do something that is going to cause physical harm. She will leave marks on your naked flesh if that is what you wish, but nothing that would be there for more than a few days. If you do not want to be marked, Mistress is skilled enough to cause pain without leaving marks. If you’re not into pain, that’s not an issue – there are so many other ways of submitting to her – have you ever been tied down and tickled mercilessly? Have you ever had your penis ridiculed? Kissed the toes of a pair of high heeled shoes, or sucked the heel? Have you ever cleaned a bathroom wearing nothing but a frilly apron? Her imagination is so versatile – Mistress is also very good at conditioning you, and having you obey her command. She does not shout, or raise her voice. It gets to the point where you are doing things because you want to please her. If bondage is your thing, then She will happily oblige. There is nothing like being tied down, and blindfolded, listening to the click click click of her heels as she walks away from you, leaving you to your thoughts and contemplating her return. How about a spot of CBT? No, I don’t mean anything about motorcycle training, I mean cock and ball torture. If that’s not your bag (sorry, pun intended) then don’t worry. She can always tie and tease you to a ruined orgasm. What I’m trying to say is that Mistress is an amazingly versatile, skilled professional with a massive array of experience and skill, a wicked sense of humour, and a playful nature. She can be strict, She can be sweet, She can be the concerned matriarch who wants to guide you, or the sassy head girl who is tasked with your punishment.
So with that in mind, that leads me to submissiveness, submission, and the act of submitting. I am not submissive in my vanilla day to day life. My job requires me to be proactive, to take control of situations, and to manage people. I am however, sexually submissive. My wife isn’t dominant in the bedroom though, so I have to try to do things in order to please her, not myself, without her realising. This can be very frustrating, as I’m sure you can imagine, and is probably the main reason I eventually sought out Mistress Ava. The desire to submit is a funny old thing. I don’t want Mistress to do things for me, I need her to do things that she wants to do to me (does that make any sense?) We have a bond that means that I trust her implicitly, and She trusts me too. This means I can join her for a session without knowing what she has planned,but I know I will enjoy it. It also means that Mistress knows if I’m finding an activity off putting, I will tell her. I will never, during session, make a suggestion. I might ask about something before the session starts, but once it starts she is in utter control. Please, if you visit Mistress, do not try to “top from the bottom”. She doesn’t like it, and that may very likely be your last visit. Our bond has also developed to the point where physical restraints are not needed. They are still used for certain activities as they are a core part of them, but for other activities if She has told me to be still she expects me to obey and be still. As an example, the last time I was caned by her, Mistress made me kneel on the spanking bench unrestrained to take my punishment, in the full knowledge that I would not try to move until I was told to do so.You may think that as a submissive you are weak. You are not. It takes strength to put your trust in your Domina. It takes strength to bear your soul to another and admit your inner needs. Perhaps the hardest thing I have ever done was to tell Mistress who and what I identify as. During our very first session, I was restrained on the medical bed and she leant over me and asked me my name. “Amy” I tentatively told her in a small voice. She asked me what I was. “A sissy” She told me I was a good girl. My heart soared. I was accepted. Amy was accepted. Like any other relationship you will have your high points and your low points. I have spent an hour in the car travelling home, giggling to myself about things that happened during the session. I have also sat next to Mistress, on the verge of tears as she has told me how upset and disappointed she was with me due to a social media post of mine. But, like any other relationship, we learn from these things, we put these things behind us and we move forward, striving to be better.
Mistress recently welcomed me to her Wolfpack, by doing me the honour of collaring and declaring her ownership of me, and I love her dearly for putting that level of trust in me. I know that she can just as easily remove that honour, which would make me absolutely distraught, so I make sure that I do all I can to maintain her approval of my actions, deeds, and words. That is what submission feels like. I’m happily married to and still in love with my lovely wife, but I belong to Mistress Ava.
Thanks for taking the time to read my meandering ramblings.
Sissy Maid Amy.
You can find Mistress on Twitter: @MistressAvaWolf